June's Soul Reflection - The Sacredness within Resistance

30 June 2024

Resistance can have a gentle effect on you, akin to soft sands polishing a shell into a beautiful pearl, or it can be as strong as a thousand pressures, molding you into a diamond. Inevitably, resistance's role is to serve as a guide that helps you question, overcome obstacles, or give you a push. It acts as a compass, steering you back to your true essence, to remember that you are a child of creation of perfect immaculate conception.

[June - It's a graduation! Shedding layers of old contracts, Co-created with MidJourney and the divine]

Embracing beauty is a journey that is uniquely personal and deeply moving. The challenges we welcome, be it resistance, darkness, or contraction, hold the potential to transform into either a formidable adversary or a benevolent guide; your perspective shapes and defines your reality. By shifting our perspective, we can uncover hidden treasures in the midst of adversity. Growth flourishes in the darkest moments, offering us the opportunity to blossom and thrive in ways we never imagined.

The tarot card chosen for July was the 4 of Swords. The wisdom conveyed by this card encouraged me to embrace rest, receptivity, and surrender. Despite this guidance, July presented a challenge as I struggled against the idea of allowing myself to rest, receive, and surrender. Ultimately, I found myself grappling with ingrained beliefs such as 'good girl conditioning,' 'perfectionism,' and the notion that rest and receptivity are luxuries I haven't earned. These beliefs stem from a history of paternal and masculine wounds passed down through generations, resulting in a fractured relationship between the masculine and feminine aspects within me.

The wounded part of my masculinity manifested as feelings of distrust, neglecting self-care, avoiding emotions, and fear of vulnerability. These patterns of behaviors showed up in my lineages, where they were forced into early adulthood by the loss of a mother in childhood and absent (maternal side) and having a distracted mother and absent father (paternal side). Upon my conscious recommitment to remembering, I have been working on reconnecting with and accepting the divine feminine within me.

This month, I was called to focus on healing the divine masculine within me, while also nurturing a stronger sense of dedication and respect for my inner sacred child. In other words, I had a beautiful celebration to welcome home the sacred masculine within and the sacred child of creation.

From the Isis Oracle by Alana Fairchild, Healing the Divine Masculine (Osiris Rising) arrived into our field of sovereignty. This month, I had a beautiful blessing to participate in family constellation and represent as people, places, or things in others' constellation. I find it so comical the way the universe delivers the healings, tools and materials when I call for them.

During this the 4-hour adventure, I represented a powerless father-figure, the inner little boy (twice for the same person), and a business. All of which presented as masculine for me. If you are not fully aware, I recommend researching family constellation.

A Family Constellation engages the subconscious to address the underlying symptoms and causes of the problems we are facing in our lives. Often this involves a combination of ancestral programming, trauma from early childhood, and entanglements. The purpose of Family Constellations is to bring back together what was once separated. It’s a reconciliation between your childhood and adulthood, inner child and adult self, parents and child, love and misunderstanding.

[Referenced by MARINE SÉLÉNÉE]

While representing the father-figure, there is this deep deep stillness, being strong, formidable, and rooted. As a Gemini-moon, my interior world is constantly buzzing, and for this exercise, I assumed the energy of the Father archetype and immersed in complete stillness. At the same time feeling powerless in what I was able to offer as a Father, desiring connection to my child, and feeling proud that he chose himself and his path. When I work with ancestral lines, regardless of how they present themselves in the physical world, their soul is nothing short of love and desiring successors to march forward.

This inspired me to welcome in the masculine structure by trusting the roots that I have laid and this body to hold the width, depth, and heights of consciousness. I can trust in my own physical and spiritual structures to hold fort for me to be within the depths and with of my soul. I held boundaries to create more space, and by saying 'No,' I created room for the feminine to fill the space with my 'yes.' The Goddess within me savor the moments and courtship of life more deeply. In this beautiful interplay, this dance, I deepened in my discernment and allowed more clarity into the representation of divine masculine around me.

With that, I closed a contract with my father, and other masculine figures in my life, a line filled with angry, frustrated, distrustful, absent, abandoned, dead, and controlling unhealthy divine masculine. I release the bindings of the unhealthy masculine within me (e.g. controlling, self-sabotage, disconnected to the feminine, hyper independence) while embracing with open-arms the emotional fortitude, leadership, purpose, protection, resilience, grounded thinking and accountability of the healthy, divine, and whole masculine.

As I do that, I, also, awaken to a deeper purpose of being a Tantrika of sacred union, a wild, wise, and free divine, cosmic priestess of the order of the rose. I create safety and security for myself, and represent the 'Sacred Masculine' within me for me, I create space and safety for the Goddess within me to dance with more zest.

From the Kali Ma Oracle Deck by Alana Fairchild, we welcome in the wisdom of our genius inner child, the sacred child of creation, Sri Bala. Through deepening the connection to my genius inner child, and reforming my perspective, I welcomed in the wisdom, devotion, and deep knowing of my genius little one. The one who holds the key to my divine blueprint. It is through connecting to the divine child, I remembered innocence, play, wonder, and awe.

At the same time, recognizing that there was/is an inner child, the one who was protecting, looking out for me, and standing up for the unconscious adult me, I saw my inner child as victim of circumstances, but when I do that, I feel that I have disempowered her, victimized her, and discredit her own powers. As such, I choose to honor the little me who did the best that she could, to the best of her abilities that she knew how to, and now, I step as the adult to advocate, protect, and love my little one.

During family constellation, I stepped in as the inner little boy, twice for the same person, and each time, I saw and felt the deep desire of an inner child wanting love from you, me, and us. Our inner child only has us to protect. When we focus on chasing that love externally, to fulfill our parent's expectations and distancing ourselves from our inner child, this shows up in relationship where one or both partners end up being the mother and father figure of their partner's inner child, forgoing the roles of partners.

It’s comical how I have been writing at a snail-paced (self-judgement), and while I was getting frustrated with myself, the Universe had a plan. haha

Through another gathering with beautiful souls (Starseed Gridworker Nexus Part 2), the most beautiful pearl of wisdom that came was: to embody and manifest the Power of my own individual dragons, I connected to the womb of Gaia, Mothers, Divine Mothers, and my own womb.

Coming into a container (which is what a womb is) I felt underserving of being in it, and through connecting to my own power of creation, I felt the deep line of disconnection to the power of the women to each other and to themselves within my line. I felt my own mother’s fear and feelings of being undeserving as a mother when I was a child in her womb. While in her womb, I did not feel safe. Her uncertainty, and fear became mine. In turn, I did not feel safe in my own power of creation, my womb.

I took on this fear, and through the power of quantum healing and family constellation, I energetically cut the cord, the umbilical, to my mother, and giving back the fear, pain, disconnection and womb trauma in a nicely wrapped golden package to my ancestors. Through doing so, I move forward owning my own Power.

Through this reconciliation, I connected deeper to the womb of Gaia. I could hear her heartbeat and feel comforted by it. I connected to the water in her womb, surrender to its comfort and trust the nutrient that goes through her to me. I can also trust that what goes from me to her will be transmuted into nutrients for my brothers and sisters. Coming full circle, I am a breath of Gaia, I am her heartbeat, and I her reflection. I am Love. I am Light. I am a Child of Immaculate Conception.

In summary, resistance was the key friend, ingredient in the cauldron and alchemization of I. The resistance of a body transmuting, a Goddess awakening, and flower unfolding, inside the womb, and the uncomfortable feeling of being inside a held space was related to the resistance to being held, to feeling safe. The root of it all related to the relationship of the masculine and feminine lines. This month marked a graduation, a path forward in my own timeline.

Wow - What a month!? haha - I have so much love in my heart. I feel July will be a deeper connection to the Divine Mother, Sisterhood of the Rose, to the womb. More of that to come.

[Lemurian Water Codes - Connection to Gaia’s Womb]

I love you so much, more than you can ever truly know, but when you deeply tune into your own heart, you’ll know.

Love,

Akandára

It’s only the beginning